Report Yo Wins or Get Packed Up: Feds Gettin’ Pressed ...Again

Aight, so boom—Trump nem out here treatin’ the feds like they workin’ at McDonald’s, demandin’ weekly “What did you do?” check-ins like it’s some high school group project. Employees at a gang of government agencies—Bureau of Prisons, Social Security, VA, Education, and even the CDC—just got hit with emails Friday night tellin’ them to list five things they got done last week and CC they boss. And now it’s a weekly thing.

This the second time they pullin’ this stunt. The first email caught 2 million federal workers off guard, poppin’ up right after Elon Musk (yeah, him) tweeted that folks better tell him what they do at work or consider theyself fired.

Folks was big confused—some agencies like the FBI, State Department, and Homeland Security straight up told people not to answer. Some made it “voluntary.” Some said “nah, you better answer.” And right before the deadline, OPM slid in talkin’ ‘bout “never mind, it’s optional.” Messy as hell.

Now, the Pentagon jumpin’ in too, orderin’ all they civilian employees to start submitin’ they weekly bullet points. Even DHS (Homeland Security) on it now, but they tryna keep it ‘internal.’ Translation: they don’t even trust OPM with this nonsense.

“Are Y’all Even Alive?”

White House out here callin’ it a “pulse check”—but let’s be real, Musk out here talkin’ reckless. At a Cabinet meeting, bruh straight up said, “We think some of these government workers are literally dead… or not even real people.”Like, he really think there’s ghosts collectin’ paychecks.

Then Trump hopped in talkin’ ‘bout the 1 million folks who ain’t respond “on the bubble.” Meaning? They might be next to get cut. Bruh said, “Maybe they moved, maybe they got other jobs, maybe they just ain’t there no more.”

Translation? “If you ain’t checkin’ in, you gettin’ checked out.”

This ain’t even about work no more, it’s a loyalty test. They tryna see who gon’ fall in line and who might need to get packed up. Feds better move smart, ‘cause this ain’t just emails—this a purge in real-time.